I love the Walking Dead! Even if it does desensitize me from gore, makes me want to shoot copious amounts of firearms, and makes me so jumpy that I accost my neighbour’s dog with a noodle scooper as it walks past me.
Overall, I enjoyed the third season opener, “Seeds”. Surprising because I never like anything. Ever (just ask anyone that writes for this blog!). But as per usual, I had some problems.
1) DAT HAT
I thought I couldn't hate that sheriffs hat any more than when Rick insisted on wearing it every day. Nope, I hate it even more on Carl.
2) KILLING AN OWL
Darryl, why? Why kill the majestic bird of the skies??? Also, that poor owl. I saw the fear reflected in its beautiful, luminescent eyes.
3) RICK RAGING OVER DOG FOOD
Jesus, Rick. Chill. Your kid wants to eat a can of dog food? Go for it. You’re not eating it. Your pregnant wife that you don’t care about isn't eating it. Nope, this is your idiot son that refused to stay in the house and got shot through a deer. Also, puberty is hitting that kid hard. Let him have his dog food before his voice starts to crack.
4) MASKED ZOMBIES
This was the worst part. A bunch of zombies, clad in SWAT gear straggle out of the prison Suddenly, everyone in the group becomes inexplicably dumbfounded. Darryl even fires an arrow at it, which-to everyone’s shock and surprise- bounces off the armor Suddenly, it turns into total chaos. Rick bodychecks one, while T-Dog gives it the ole one-two. Somehow, neither of these work. Then, as if a magical sunbeam directly from God parted the clouds and hit Andrea upside the head, she gets a magical idea. Hey, let’s take off the masks so we can stab the zombies in the face!
The rest of the group smiles and nods, as if to say, hey, that totally makes sense! I mean, I was just going to keep punching it in the chest until it died. But taking the mask off it works just as well!
HOW DID THEY SURVIVE SEVEN TO EIGHT MONTHS IN THE WILDERNESS IF THEY COULDN'T EVEN REALIZE THEY HAD TO TAKE THE MASKS OFF OH MY GOD.
5) IMPLIED CARLxBETH
We will look back at this episode and see that it was the seed that spawned a whole range of CarlxBeth Fanfics. And bad youtube tributes, RULE 34, OH GOD WHY. I can’t think of another reason why they’d keep Beth around, except maybe as potential zombie fodder or an expendable whose death will “bring the group closer, yet drive it further apart.” Obviously, Carl’s hit puberty, and yes, there are few choices on the girl department. But I have a feeling the writers are going to milk that crush as long as they can. Also, way to cockblock, Herschel. Totally violated the bro code.
6) GET OFF THOSE BEDS
I don’t care how long you’ve been roughing it in the wild, but the last thing I would do is lie on an abandoned prisoner’s bed that has been sitting there for over a year. That shit defs has bedbugs. And probably the blood of murdered convicts.
OVERALL
As season openers go, this one was pretty legit. There was just enough violence and zombies to keep it going, plus minimal Lori; which is always good. But it leaves me with more questions: How will they shower? Where will they get bullets from? Did they just abandon their vehicles? Will Lori’s baby rip open her uterus with its zombie jaws and burst out her stomach, Alien style?
We can only hope.
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